Which is more important?

Hubby was reminding me last night about my mother-in-law (MIL)’s vacation in Shen Zhen plus other places in China next week. BTW my MIL is my 20 months old boy’s day-care-taker….So when she’s away, hubby & I will have to take turns to take care of baby instead.

Right after our conversation, we saw on the news that in some parts of Shen Zhen there were lots of frogs coming out from no-where! Apparently one of the signs before the previous terrible China earthquake was frogs & rats all came out from no-where too!

So this morning when I sent my boy, I spoke to MIL regarding this. I was telling her not to go for her vacation next week since there’s this potential earthquake or whatever natural disaster happening there or might happen there, looking at the sign. Then the below conversation took place :

MIL : “err…but we all paid already! Also, I cant be asking all the rest of 18 people to not go, right?”
Me: “Is the few thousand dollars more important or your life is more important?”
MIL : “What if it doesn’t happen?”
Me : “Then great! U can go another time! Do u want to risk your life betting IF anything happens???”
MIL : “err…let’s see what the rest say first lar…”
Me (very upset) : “I’m telling u that u really shouldn’t go, but I’m not asking the rest of your friends to not go, ok? They can go ahead by all means, I don’t care coz they are not somebody important to me!”

Infact the conversation we had this morning brought me to ponder a bit…Is money more important or is health more important? Is money more important or is family more important? If money more important or is life more important?

Handling difficult people at work

Difficult people and situations exist in every work place. These people in particular, sometimes can cause tremendous stress directly or indirectly to those people working with them.

Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behavior affects more than one person. Dealing with difficult people is much tougher when they are attacking you or undermining your professional contribution.

These people are usually well too arrogant. No matter what anyone says or does, this person will force their ideas on everyone else. There can be no open discussion or involvement. Things MUST be done this person’s way or else.

I just had very good experience working with one of these people in my previous project. His main problem is, he will never listen. And what made it worse was, he’s the “owner” of this project and so he’s like the boss! To him, everyone else are just the supporting actors & actresses, he’s the only person to make this deal happen! He likes to instruct and does not take suggestions (at least not from me). Maybe he does accept suggestion when it comes from someone else and not me, cause to him I’m just an admin person not adding much value to the whole project. So then throughout the period working on this project, I can sense that my work & effort were not being appreciated.

I did have few fights with him, trying to explain certain processes to him, and trying to make him understand the practicality, but he refused to. When he works over the weekend, he’s expecting everyone else to work over the weekend without advance notice. Some of us, being on the job, have had certain expectation to work long hours or even over the weekend, but what about other people involved along the process?

Anyhow, the nightmare is now over, and I really hope I wont need to work with this person again. And from the experience, I did get some tips for dealing with people like this, so am sharing them with u….

1. When you see someone go into attack mode or excess defensiveness, recognize that it is useless to argue with them.
2. Realize that the person is feeling very insecure at that time.
3. Don’t continue to push them because they will only get worse.
4. If the symptoms only seem to occur when the person is under stress, wait until another time to pursue the discussion.
5. If they are always overly defensive or always attacking others, you may need to find another person with higher authority or someone this person respects to communicate the message.
6. Keep your own sense of self-confidence and don't allow yourself to be verbally abused.

Just my 2cents worth…

Global Warming

Did u realize that weather now has changed so much compared to some 20 years ago when we were small kids?

Recently I was watching a tv show that talks about Global Warming and what are the things that many other people around the world especially kids in their early education system, are doing their parts to safe the environment. Having more outdoor curriculum and monthly exchange of used toys (in good condition) are among the few activities happening in many primary schools in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan.

The same tv show also showed how badly the earth has been damaged by the industries, by human being, by global warming! Temperatures, we are told, are to increase by 3.6 degrees by the middle of the century, resulting in melting glaciers, flooding and choked water supplies that will threaten the livelihood of millions. Crops will fail, we are told, disease will run rampant, rising sea levels and intense droughts will create hundreds of millions of refugees, and up to 40% of species will face extinction. Well lots of these facts we do know them, but we just may not have done our parts to contribute to saving the environment…

I’m one of those idiots whom I don’t think I’ve done much, but I’m gonna start now! Since last month I think, I started to nag hubby to not turn on the air-con unless we really can’t stand the heat. I started nagging him to switch off the lights when we don’t really need them. And we also started bring our own reusable shopping bags when we buy groceries from Jusco across the street.

I’m sure there are a lot more that we can do to contribute in saving the environment, so start somewhere if u have not done so. Start some lil small deeds will do…

It’s not as easy…

It has been really tiring for me recently, being a pregnant mum, having to juggle between real busy work schedule and family.

My 20-months old son is really hyper and he runs around the house non-stop! Well, ofcoz that’s quite normal for a boy, but it’s just a bit tiring for the care taker, that’s all…Hubby has been helping ofcoz, but sometimes somehow I felt he’s not disciplining the boy well so I have to interrupt.

Work has been terribly stressful lately, with overwhelming workload and tight schedules. Also, having to handle some really difficult people in the same project, is really causing lots of unnecessary additional stress…

Somehow this pregnancy has caused me some serious sinus problem at night, causing me to have insufficient or very low quality sleeps. So then during the day, I’m feeling extremely tired due to lack of sleep and my body is aching like hell, especially the neck and shoulder…how I wish I could go for a good massage or SPA now…

When all the above add up together, they can be quite killing! I tried telling hubby, but somehow he didn’t quite get it. Infact he’s living in the same house, sleeping on the same bed as me, so even if I don’t elaborate much, he should know what I’m going through…but somehow he doesn’t really show much concern. Maybe the way he cares for me is very different…well he will prepare breakfast for me sometimes, he will help with housework as usual (even before I got pregnant), he will take baby out for cycling & all so I can have some time to rest, etc etc. But I really wish he would offer me a light shoulder massage one of these days, offering his listening ears asking me to tell him about my work stress so I can release, give me a hug & kiss me goodbye in the morning wishing me a good day ahead…

Taming Tantrums

If u have a baby or toddler, u would probably be able to give me some good advice…

Somehow recently, my 19th month lil toddler has been throwing tantrums...Most recent being one of the nights earlier this week, when he was about to sleep at night and suddenly papa’s phone rang and papa went out of the room and he got curious & woke up straight away. And when papa was done with the phone call, my lil boy was already sulking…then soon enough followed by crying and throwing tantrums all over, and both me & hubby were not sure of what he really wanted that time. Our guess : it was some 30 mins passed his bed time, he was sleepy & tired, but yet didn’t feel like going to sleep?

And the worse part was….He didn’t want both papa and mama to hug or cuddle him, and he just went on sitting on his bed & crying & crying... And before I could think of any attractive good tricks to calm him, he vomited! Now…he created a whole mess and I got really mad…Ofcoz I didn’t scold him or whatever, just went on cleaning & changing him, then calm him to bed…

I did get some advice from those baby websites, but I felt most of them are very “theory”-based, ie : Model good behavior, Set good expectations, Establish rules, Be consistent and supportive, Eliminate temptation, and Avoid tantrums of your own, etc. Many of these are what we have already been doing today, but practically I must say not all of them can be done easily, ie. Avoid my own tantrums (for someone hot tempered like me)…Nevertheless, am still trying my best…

So do u have any better advice?

Funny..."Sunny"...and...

It was a bright early morning when my 1.5 year old son woke up and went sitting next to the window & started playing with his books, as usual...

Then when I realised it, I turned to him saying :"Good morning my dear! Would u help mommy pull up the curtain please? (which is a roman blind type)". He did as I told him ofcoz...but when he pulled the curtain up, wow! It was a bright sunny morning. So I decided to tell him to put the curtain back down instead. I said :"Baby, mummy changed my mind, let's put the curtain down coz it's very SUNNY!"

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

What so funny? I didnt realised it until my hubby lying next to me said :"yaya baby, listen to your mom, put down that curtain & pull it up again tonight when it's MOONY!"

HAHAHAHA!!! Now I got the joke!

I meant to say it was too bright & glaring, but not sure how did "sunny" came out of my mouth...

We had a good laugh and definitely a joyful morning!

Baby in my tummy...

My usual gynae check-up is dued today, so as usual hubby & I went to doc's clinic after lunch. The wait today was extra long because somehow the queue was not arranged well by the nurse, so I got a lil frustrated after 1.5 hours of waiting...

But guess what? I was truely delighted after the check-up! Why?


We did a very thorough scan today and doc spent a lot of time with us on the scan somehow (maybe she knew I was upset for the long wait). So we saw baby's head, the heart, the bladder, the spine, the tummy, the hands, the legs, etc. Gynae confirmed that the baby is now 17 weeks old, growing well and the structure is formed well too....Best part was : she confirmed that I'm having a BABY GIRL!!!

I was so extremely happy and first thing I said was : Thank God for answering my prayer!

I was indeed praying for a baby girl way before I was pregnant, while hubby & I were planning for our 2nd baby. Coz I read in this book called "Supernatural Childbirth" that if you are wishing to have certain baby gender, u gotta commit that to God way before u conceive so then God can do something about it! haha...Once u'r pregnant, though u may not know the gender of your baby as yet, but it's already formed. The gender was decided while the sperm found the egg, so it's probably too late to pray for certain gender after that...

I really really felt grateful to have God answered this prayer of mine. U know...having blessed with another baby according to our family plan (ofcoz we submitted the plan to God too) is already great, but having blessed with a baby girl is just marvelous! It's beyong words how God has blessed me and my family...

Praise the Lord!!! for He is good, ALL THE TIME!