Mum’s condition

Mum was discharged from the hospital two days ago on Tues evening, after the doc checked her. She will have to be back to remove her stitches in a week’s time and at the same time for her report on the test result on removed womb.

I was too busy at work, so sis took mum home. I called mum around 6pm to check on her, she didn’t sound good at all. She was complaining that her right foot is swollen and she suspected it to be caused by the over consumption of water before discharging from the hospital coz doc needed to check her urine but she didn’t have any, so the nurses kept asking her to drink more.

I visited her around 8.30pm after work. She didn’t look and sound good…still….She said the swelling is getting worse, and she looked uncomfortable and worried. We tried calling the hospital and contacting the doc but to no avail.

On Wed, around 3pm, finally the nurse got whole of the doc and told him mum’s condition. He suggested mum to have her right foot rested on a pillow while sitting down, and if the swelling doesn’t go off by Thur, then we shall see him on Friday.

When I told hubby about mum being upset and sounded depressed, he said it may not have been caused by the swelling at all. He said it could be due to the post-surgery of the removal of her womb. Though the organ has not been useful for last 10 years, it’s still a major organ in our body, so the removal may have somehow caused her depression. YEAH…I thought it could be true…How can I never thought of that?

I guess we all, as daughters, just have to be more patience with mum and spend more time with her, talk to her. I hope that will make her feel better…

Please continue to pray for my mum, pray for healing, not just physically but also mentally and emotionally…

An “eventful” week

16/06 (Monday)
Mum’s test result was out, so we went to gynae’s clinic first thing in the morning. Mum was surprised that hubby drove me when we picked her, and she was even more surprised when she saw sis came with bro-in-law & 3rd sis too….I guess by then she realized it must be something serious…

Gynae said this is Grade1 Cancer, where it’s determined by certain amount of cells from mum’s womb. This is really “pre-stage”, so he cant really tell how bad it is, until the surgery is done and the complete test on the womb is done, then we will know which cancer stage that is. Mum stayed calm.

This gynae recommended us to see the gynae-oncologist, Prof BK. But he said he will need to draft a letter & help us make appointment, so we will have to wait till the next day….

After some discussions among us, hubby said no harm seeing an oncologist who’s good, since he has some contacts, rather than waiting for Prof BK. So we arranged an appointment to see Dr Foo instead for Tue afternoon coz she doesn’t have clinic in the morning.

17/06 (Tuesday)
We went to see Dr Foo’s after lunch, mum still looked very calm. After she checked mum, she said we have to see a gynae-oncologist (recommended Prof BK again) to remove the womb first, then the test on the removed womb will determine if mum needs any radiotherapy or needs to come back & see her. Since hubby knows this doc, he asked if the doc can call Prof BK for us straight and get an appointment done. Dr Foo was really nice and kind enough to help us do that, and her one-single-phone-call to Prof BK’s mobile had definitely made wonders!

We rushed over to the other hospital where Prof BK was in, with Dr Foo’s letter. We waited for 2 hours and finally got to see him. He checked mum…and concluded that mum needs to go for surgery to remove the womb plus the limb-node as well soonest possible since she’s bleeding. But this is very early stage and since we found out early, it’s highly likely of 100% cure.

While the nurse flipped through his diary, we saw some totally full operation schedules….But he was kind enough to slot mum in for his upcoming operation day – Thur.

18/06 (Wednesday)
Mum was supposed to be admitted to hospital for her operation on Thur. But since there wasn’t any room available and her operation is scheduled for Thur evening at 5.30pm, the nurse told us to go home after the necessary tests and only come back around 12pm the next day. So after all the ECG, blood test etc, sis went home with her so she could rest.

19/06 (Thursday)
All 4 of us (daughters) accompanied mum in the hospital. We told mum this is nothing serious, as long as the womb is removed, things will be alright. She took it very calm, and she even joked with us while waiting.

At about 6pm, mum was sent to the operating room for anaesthesia and all. The surgery took 2 hours all in all, so mum was out around 8.30pm. She was half-conscious, but she recognized all of us ofcoz! The surgery was done well and smoothly….THANK GOD!

She did complain about the pain, but after the pain-killer drips kicked in, she felt better.

20-22/06 (Friday – Sunday)
We visited mum everyday ofcoz, and tried to spend as much time with her as possible. Her condition improved day by day and on Sun she can actually come down from the bed & started walking very slowly by herself.

Prof BK came checking her everyday and said she’s healing well, but can only discharge maybe next Tue or Wed cause he still needs to monitor her. The test result of the removed womb will be out by then too.

THANX for all your prayers. I’m sure God has His plan for mum and He will be in control of mum’s condition. Pray that God will continue to strengthen her faith in Him.

Heavy hearted

Been not writing lately due to the crazy work schedule, which I bet I’ve mentioned this more than once in my past blog posts….Have gathered plenty to write about, but just couldn’t find the time & energy to do so. But today, I just really feel like writing, for mum…though I’m writing with a extra heavy heart.

Yesterday lunch time, mum called telling me she had a bad morning. She woke up & went to the washroom early morning, realizing that she’s “bleeding” as though she’s having menstrual. She has reached Menopause since more than 10 years ago and so this should not happen! She was in the washroom for about 30 mins coz the “out-flow” could not stop…Then when she finally got out from washroom, she realised that she’s tired & exhausted.

After discussing with sis, we decided to send her to the gynae straight away. Gynae heard the symptoms and started shaking his head, which made sis really worry, but luckily mum didn’t pay much attention to that. After checking mum, he said mum has to do some kind of test (with very complicated medical name) to confirm if this is womb cancer! My heart dropped. Fortunately when the gynae mentioned “cancer”, mum was still in the changing room and did not hear that. We didn’t want to scare her and so decided to not let her know for now.

Hubby is from the pharma industry, so I called him to tell him everything. He confirmed that this is a clear symptom of womb cancer…My heart dropped, again…but whatever it is, we still have to wait for the test.

So today I drove mum to the gynae’s clinic & met with sis. Mum was put on GA (general anaesthetic) for the procedure of extracting some cells from her womb to be sent for test. While waiting for mum to recover consciousness, we spoke to the gynae. He said during the procedure, mum’s womb doesn’t look as healthy but the extraction from her womb doesn’t look like she has cancer too! So his conclusion is to wait for the final result from the test to confirm what should be done next.

Again, we decided not to inform mum about this, hoping that she can eat & sleep better in the next few days while waiting for the results. We just told her the test is necessary to find out what is wrong in her womb and the results will be out next week.

I prayed for mum, and will continue to pray for her. I hope she can find peace in God and willing to accept the treatments if she has to go through any…

Mum, pls stay strong, for we all love u, VERY MUCH!

Which is more important?

Hubby was reminding me last night about my mother-in-law (MIL)’s vacation in Shen Zhen plus other places in China next week. BTW my MIL is my 20 months old boy’s day-care-taker….So when she’s away, hubby & I will have to take turns to take care of baby instead.

Right after our conversation, we saw on the news that in some parts of Shen Zhen there were lots of frogs coming out from no-where! Apparently one of the signs before the previous terrible China earthquake was frogs & rats all came out from no-where too!

So this morning when I sent my boy, I spoke to MIL regarding this. I was telling her not to go for her vacation next week since there’s this potential earthquake or whatever natural disaster happening there or might happen there, looking at the sign. Then the below conversation took place :

MIL : “err…but we all paid already! Also, I cant be asking all the rest of 18 people to not go, right?”
Me: “Is the few thousand dollars more important or your life is more important?”
MIL : “What if it doesn’t happen?”
Me : “Then great! U can go another time! Do u want to risk your life betting IF anything happens???”
MIL : “err…let’s see what the rest say first lar…”
Me (very upset) : “I’m telling u that u really shouldn’t go, but I’m not asking the rest of your friends to not go, ok? They can go ahead by all means, I don’t care coz they are not somebody important to me!”

Infact the conversation we had this morning brought me to ponder a bit…Is money more important or is health more important? Is money more important or is family more important? If money more important or is life more important?

Handling difficult people at work

Difficult people and situations exist in every work place. These people in particular, sometimes can cause tremendous stress directly or indirectly to those people working with them.

Dealing with difficult people is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when the behavior affects more than one person. Dealing with difficult people is much tougher when they are attacking you or undermining your professional contribution.

These people are usually well too arrogant. No matter what anyone says or does, this person will force their ideas on everyone else. There can be no open discussion or involvement. Things MUST be done this person’s way or else.

I just had very good experience working with one of these people in my previous project. His main problem is, he will never listen. And what made it worse was, he’s the “owner” of this project and so he’s like the boss! To him, everyone else are just the supporting actors & actresses, he’s the only person to make this deal happen! He likes to instruct and does not take suggestions (at least not from me). Maybe he does accept suggestion when it comes from someone else and not me, cause to him I’m just an admin person not adding much value to the whole project. So then throughout the period working on this project, I can sense that my work & effort were not being appreciated.

I did have few fights with him, trying to explain certain processes to him, and trying to make him understand the practicality, but he refused to. When he works over the weekend, he’s expecting everyone else to work over the weekend without advance notice. Some of us, being on the job, have had certain expectation to work long hours or even over the weekend, but what about other people involved along the process?

Anyhow, the nightmare is now over, and I really hope I wont need to work with this person again. And from the experience, I did get some tips for dealing with people like this, so am sharing them with u….

1. When you see someone go into attack mode or excess defensiveness, recognize that it is useless to argue with them.
2. Realize that the person is feeling very insecure at that time.
3. Don’t continue to push them because they will only get worse.
4. If the symptoms only seem to occur when the person is under stress, wait until another time to pursue the discussion.
5. If they are always overly defensive or always attacking others, you may need to find another person with higher authority or someone this person respects to communicate the message.
6. Keep your own sense of self-confidence and don't allow yourself to be verbally abused.

Just my 2cents worth…

Global Warming

Did u realize that weather now has changed so much compared to some 20 years ago when we were small kids?

Recently I was watching a tv show that talks about Global Warming and what are the things that many other people around the world especially kids in their early education system, are doing their parts to safe the environment. Having more outdoor curriculum and monthly exchange of used toys (in good condition) are among the few activities happening in many primary schools in China, Hong Kong and Taiwan.

The same tv show also showed how badly the earth has been damaged by the industries, by human being, by global warming! Temperatures, we are told, are to increase by 3.6 degrees by the middle of the century, resulting in melting glaciers, flooding and choked water supplies that will threaten the livelihood of millions. Crops will fail, we are told, disease will run rampant, rising sea levels and intense droughts will create hundreds of millions of refugees, and up to 40% of species will face extinction. Well lots of these facts we do know them, but we just may not have done our parts to contribute to saving the environment…

I’m one of those idiots whom I don’t think I’ve done much, but I’m gonna start now! Since last month I think, I started to nag hubby to not turn on the air-con unless we really can’t stand the heat. I started nagging him to switch off the lights when we don’t really need them. And we also started bring our own reusable shopping bags when we buy groceries from Jusco across the street.

I’m sure there are a lot more that we can do to contribute in saving the environment, so start somewhere if u have not done so. Start some lil small deeds will do…

It’s not as easy…

It has been really tiring for me recently, being a pregnant mum, having to juggle between real busy work schedule and family.

My 20-months old son is really hyper and he runs around the house non-stop! Well, ofcoz that’s quite normal for a boy, but it’s just a bit tiring for the care taker, that’s all…Hubby has been helping ofcoz, but sometimes somehow I felt he’s not disciplining the boy well so I have to interrupt.

Work has been terribly stressful lately, with overwhelming workload and tight schedules. Also, having to handle some really difficult people in the same project, is really causing lots of unnecessary additional stress…

Somehow this pregnancy has caused me some serious sinus problem at night, causing me to have insufficient or very low quality sleeps. So then during the day, I’m feeling extremely tired due to lack of sleep and my body is aching like hell, especially the neck and shoulder…how I wish I could go for a good massage or SPA now…

When all the above add up together, they can be quite killing! I tried telling hubby, but somehow he didn’t quite get it. Infact he’s living in the same house, sleeping on the same bed as me, so even if I don’t elaborate much, he should know what I’m going through…but somehow he doesn’t really show much concern. Maybe the way he cares for me is very different…well he will prepare breakfast for me sometimes, he will help with housework as usual (even before I got pregnant), he will take baby out for cycling & all so I can have some time to rest, etc etc. But I really wish he would offer me a light shoulder massage one of these days, offering his listening ears asking me to tell him about my work stress so I can release, give me a hug & kiss me goodbye in the morning wishing me a good day ahead…