Monday, July 28, 2008

Sad weekend…

The past weekend was not a pleasant one for me…had a fight with hubby on Friday morning and there goes the spoilt weekend…

There’s this Chinese saying which goes “jia-jia-you-ben-nan-nian-de-jing”, which simply means every family has its own issues or problems. This sounds so real to me now…why?

When I wrote about S in my previous post, this phrase came to my mind. It’s just like from the outer layer or surface, I see that she has a perfect happy family life, until I got to hear her “true” stories on family issues & family problems with the violent husband, I realized things are so different from what I’ve imagined. Yeah, her husband bought her a brand new Honda CRV as a gift and all, but so what?

Recently too, when I spoke to another good friend R, whom despite having a hubby few years younger than her, stays in big 2-1/2-stories link-house in Sunway SPK. So I always thought they are doing well and all, but apparently not really. She was told by her hubby to stay at work no matter how stress is her job coz the family needs the income. Now that I know why I can practically see her admiring eyes when she heard me saying one of my hubby’s dreams is to make me a happy housewife and that he always tell me quit the job if it’s too stressful for me…

See…to both S & R, they said I have a perfect husband, who’s family oriented, doing well in his career, lovely & all, but that’s just the surface which they are aware of. Every family or relationship has its own problems & issues, it’s just so true. Yeah, my hubby loves the family, he will cook dinner for us, prepare breakfast for me, help with housework, etc…but have I not tried my best to be a good wife for him too?

Whatever it is, I don’t think I’ve done something wrong to deserve the shouting & scolding from him for 10 mins where I just kept quiet. I know if I were to fight back & argue with him, it’s gonna be no ending to this….He apologized for the shouting after that, but I was already really upset. It was just a small thing (at least to me), but he reacted as though it’s such a huge issue, which really surprised me. Anyhow, I’m so heavily pregnant, plus I never get to sleep well at night for past few months, I thought he could be more loving & caring than this…

I refused to speak to him throughout the weekend. I took my son out all day from early morning to late evening on Sat since he has his personal agenda for morning half Sat. It was really exhausting for me though…handling my boy all alone with my huge tummy…

Well I don’t even know when will I be comfortable to speak to him again, maybe will have to pray harder for God to help me forgive & forget…

Friday, July 18, 2008

Putting life on one single bet

When u embark on a “till-death-do-us-part” journey with the “so called” right one, you are taking a big risk, as though putting your whole life on one single bet on the gambling table…

Do u feel so?

I think I do. And I surely went into marriage thinking & hoping that this is it and he will be the right person for the rest of my life, till death do us part.

My friend S is not as lucky. She’s married for 5 years or so, now with 2 kids, and she’s filing for divorce. I felt sad for her and I’m trying every single effort to help her whenever & wherever I can.

I’ve seen her effort trying to patch the relationship with her hubby by repeatedly giving him chances to change or improve. They have also gone through the Christian counseling sessions with the pastor…but he doesn’t seem to realize and acknowledge the problem and so not putting any effort to improve it. So S decided to put a stop to the relationship and now filing for divorce.

From what I know about S and her husband, they are loving couple, doing well in terms of their careers too. More so with the 2 kids around, I always thought S has a perfect happy family! Until I heard about her problems recently, that her husband was actually getting more & more violent towards the family, being very suspicious too, her life has turned miserable.

Without much choice, now S is divorcing her husband. She now has to stay with the 2 young kids and a maid. Husband will come to pick up the kids every Friday evening and send them back on Sat to spend some time with them, if he wants to.

See…S is only in her early thirties, to spend rest of her life without a husband & with 2 young kids is not gonna be easy. But when she married the husband after some 2 years of dating, she didn’t realize there’s such problem. Few years down the road after marriage & after given birth to 2 babies, everything seems to have changed….

That’s what I meant by saying putting whole life on one single bet on the gambling table when we decided to marry someone…because few years down the road, if anything bad happens like S, where there are already 2 kids around, it’s highly unlikely that she will go for another marriage….

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Preparing for her arrival

I've been so busy lately that I think I've neglected the pregnancy, or rather neglected my dear daughter...I was busy with projects one after another in April & May, not giving me space to even breath. Then in June, it was all about mum, PLUS work...So I felt so exhausted!

Finally last 2 weeks, I had some time for myself and I realized both hubby and I are not really prepared and ready for our baby girl's arrival as yet. And u know what? We are now left with ONLY two more months to go before my expected due date!

Firstly we have not decided on her name, both English & Chinese that's one headache for me. Been looking through the names-dictionary which we got it as a Christmas gift when we got married, but nothing excites me as yet though we have short-listed a few...

As part of the preparation, shopping is definitely not avoidable! In the last 2 weeks, we have been shopping quite a bit for our baby girl, including getting her bedding, clothing and other new born essentials ready.

In preparation for labour, I've also started to do more exercises & reading. Since we did not opt for antenatal class refresher, I took out all the notes from previous antenatal class to read too.

Somehow I still feel that we have not done enough to prepare for our baby girl's arrival...Or maybe that's how it is when u have a second baby?

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Thank GOD!

We took mum to the hospital for removal of stitches, and the gynae-oncologist told us the result of mum’s removed womb plus limb-nodes is finally out! Doc said EVERYTHING is positive, meaning no cancer cell spreading at the limb-nodes, and this surgery IS IT! There’s no need for any radio-therapy or treatment, coz the womb & limb-nodes removal surgery has cleared everything, and this will be long-term cure!


This is the GREATEST news ever and I can see the smile on mum’s face!
But doc also said that mum will need lots of rest for the wound to heal well and that she will still have the swelling and feeling of discomfort at times, but she will just have to bear with them....

Once again, thanks for all your prayers.

Thank God for holding mum tight in His hand, watching her and strengthening her. Pray Lord that You will continue to grant mum speedy recovery, heal her wound and deliver her from those discomfort caused by the removal of her womb and limb-nodes, Lord.