He has grown up so much!

After so much shopping for my lil girl, I realized I haven’t really pre-wash those clothes, bed sheet, pillow cases etc for her, so I did yesterday…Since I also bought some new clothes for the elder boy, I’ve included them in the washer.

While I was hanging those clothes, I realized my boy has grown up so much! When I compare those clothes I bought for my baby girl with those for my boy, hanging them side by side, I realized my boy is no longer a baby, like how I always call him…Soon he will be a big brother to the lil baby sister!

Now as daddy & I get ready for baby girl to arrive, we probably have to do something to help our boy to be ready too, for his new sibling! Of cause we have been educating him about his lil sister’s existence & her arrival soon, but are these sufficient? Maybe we should have brought him to some of the gynae appointments, so he can see from the ultrasound screen that there’s a real baby in mummy’s tummy, but then again, will he really understand it?

I took an online quiz today on whether my boy is ready for a new sibling. My score was 21, which says: “It sounds like you have a nice balance of involvement with your child and your pregnancy. Be sure to answer any questions he may have, but be brief and don't go into more detail than is age-appropriate.” So I guess we are more or less there, but need to do more in preparing my boy…

Anyone has any good suggestions for me?

10 Other Commandments to Live by

Someone sent me the below "10 commandments to live by" last week...I thought it was sent to me at the right time since I was quite upset with my hubby. Infact these are common things that we all know, but whether we practice them is another different story. To me, this came as a good reminder....What about you?

1. You shall not worry, for worry is the most unproductive of all human activities.


2. You shall not be fearful, for most of the things we fear never come to pass.


3. You shall not carry grudges, for they are the heaviest of all life's burdens.


4. You shall face each problem as it comes. You can only handle one at atime anyway.


5. You shall not take problems to bed with you, for they make very poor bedfellows.


6. You shall not borrow other people's problems. They can better carefor them than you.


7. You shall not try to relive yesterday for good or ill, it is forevergone. Concentrate on what is happening in your life and be happy now!


8. You shall be a good listener, for only when you listen do you hearideas different from your own.


9. You shall not become "bogged down" by frustration, for 90% of it is rooted in self-pity and will only interfere with positive action.


10. You shall count your blessings, never overlooking the small ones, for a lot of small blessings add up to a big one.

It's so true that we always take life for granted, take God for granted, take our happiness for granted, take all our blessings for granted, take our health for granted, isnt it? I hope the above will serve as good reminder to you too!

Sad weekend…

The past weekend was not a pleasant one for me…had a fight with hubby on Friday morning and there goes the spoilt weekend…

There’s this Chinese saying which goes “jia-jia-you-ben-nan-nian-de-jing”, which simply means every family has its own issues or problems. This sounds so real to me now…why?

When I wrote about S in my previous post, this phrase came to my mind. It’s just like from the outer layer or surface, I see that she has a perfect happy family life, until I got to hear her “true” stories on family issues & family problems with the violent husband, I realized things are so different from what I’ve imagined. Yeah, her husband bought her a brand new Honda CRV as a gift and all, but so what?

Recently too, when I spoke to another good friend R, whom despite having a hubby few years younger than her, stays in big 2-1/2-stories link-house in Sunway SPK. So I always thought they are doing well and all, but apparently not really. She was told by her hubby to stay at work no matter how stress is her job coz the family needs the income. Now that I know why I can practically see her admiring eyes when she heard me saying one of my hubby’s dreams is to make me a happy housewife and that he always tell me quit the job if it’s too stressful for me…

See…to both S & R, they said I have a perfect husband, who’s family oriented, doing well in his career, lovely & all, but that’s just the surface which they are aware of. Every family or relationship has its own problems & issues, it’s just so true. Yeah, my hubby loves the family, he will cook dinner for us, prepare breakfast for me, help with housework, etc…but have I not tried my best to be a good wife for him too?

Whatever it is, I don’t think I’ve done something wrong to deserve the shouting & scolding from him for 10 mins where I just kept quiet. I know if I were to fight back & argue with him, it’s gonna be no ending to this….He apologized for the shouting after that, but I was already really upset. It was just a small thing (at least to me), but he reacted as though it’s such a huge issue, which really surprised me. Anyhow, I’m so heavily pregnant, plus I never get to sleep well at night for past few months, I thought he could be more loving & caring than this…

I refused to speak to him throughout the weekend. I took my son out all day from early morning to late evening on Sat since he has his personal agenda for morning half Sat. It was really exhausting for me though…handling my boy all alone with my huge tummy…

Well I don’t even know when will I be comfortable to speak to him again, maybe will have to pray harder for God to help me forgive & forget…

Putting life on one single bet

When u embark on a “till-death-do-us-part” journey with the “so called” right one, you are taking a big risk, as though putting your whole life on one single bet on the gambling table…

Do u feel so?

I think I do. And I surely went into marriage thinking & hoping that this is it and he will be the right person for the rest of my life, till death do us part.

My friend S is not as lucky. She’s married for 5 years or so, now with 2 kids, and she’s filing for divorce. I felt sad for her and I’m trying every single effort to help her whenever & wherever I can.

I’ve seen her effort trying to patch the relationship with her hubby by repeatedly giving him chances to change or improve. They have also gone through the Christian counseling sessions with the pastor…but he doesn’t seem to realize and acknowledge the problem and so not putting any effort to improve it. So S decided to put a stop to the relationship and now filing for divorce.

From what I know about S and her husband, they are loving couple, doing well in terms of their careers too. More so with the 2 kids around, I always thought S has a perfect happy family! Until I heard about her problems recently, that her husband was actually getting more & more violent towards the family, being very suspicious too, her life has turned miserable.

Without much choice, now S is divorcing her husband. She now has to stay with the 2 young kids and a maid. Husband will come to pick up the kids every Friday evening and send them back on Sat to spend some time with them, if he wants to.

See…S is only in her early thirties, to spend rest of her life without a husband & with 2 young kids is not gonna be easy. But when she married the husband after some 2 years of dating, she didn’t realize there’s such problem. Few years down the road after marriage & after given birth to 2 babies, everything seems to have changed….

That’s what I meant by saying putting whole life on one single bet on the gambling table when we decided to marry someone…because few years down the road, if anything bad happens like S, where there are already 2 kids around, it’s highly unlikely that she will go for another marriage….

Preparing for her arrival

I've been so busy lately that I think I've neglected the pregnancy, or rather neglected my dear daughter...I was busy with projects one after another in April & May, not giving me space to even breath. Then in June, it was all about mum, PLUS work...So I felt so exhausted!

Finally last 2 weeks, I had some time for myself and I realized both hubby and I are not really prepared and ready for our baby girl's arrival as yet. And u know what? We are now left with ONLY two more months to go before my expected due date!

Firstly we have not decided on her name, both English & Chinese name...so that's one headache for me. Been looking through the names-dictionary which we got it as a Christmas gift when we got married, but nothing excites me as yet though we have short-listed a few...

As part of the preparation, shopping is definitely not avoidable! In the last 2 weeks, we have been shopping quite a bit for our baby girl, including getting her bedding, clothing and other new born essentials ready.

In preparation for labour, I've also started to do more exercises & reading. Since we did not opt for antenatal class refresher, I took out all the notes from previous antenatal class to read too.

Somehow I still feel that we have not done enough to prepare for our baby girl's arrival...Or maybe that's how it is when u have a second baby?

Thank GOD!

We took mum to the hospital for removal of stitches, and the gynae-oncologist told us the result of mum’s removed womb plus limb-nodes is finally out! Doc said EVERYTHING is positive, meaning no cancer cell spreading at the limb-nodes, and this surgery IS IT! There’s no need for any radio-therapy or treatment, coz the womb & limb-nodes removal surgery has cleared everything, and this will be long-term cure!

*PHEW*

This is the GREATEST news ever and I can see the smile on mum’s face!

But doc also said that mum will need lots of rest for the wound to heal well and that she will still have the swelling and feeling of discomfort at times, but she will just have to bear with them....

Once again, thanks for all your prayers.

Thank God for holding mum tight in His hand, watching her and strengthening her. Pray Lord that You will continue to grant mum speedy recovery, heal her wound and deliver her from those discomfort caused by the removal of her womb and limb-nodes, Lord.

Mum’s condition

Mum was discharged from the hospital two days ago on Tues evening, after the doc checked her. She will have to be back to remove her stitches in a week’s time and at the same time for her report on the test result on removed womb.

I was too busy at work, so sis took mum home. I called mum around 6pm to check on her, she didn’t sound good at all. She was complaining that her right foot is swollen and she suspected it to be caused by the over consumption of water before discharging from the hospital coz doc needed to check her urine but she didn’t have any, so the nurses kept asking her to drink more.

I visited her around 8.30pm after work. She didn’t look and sound good…still….She said the swelling is getting worse, and she looked uncomfortable and worried. We tried calling the hospital and contacting the doc but to no avail.

On Wed, around 3pm, finally the nurse got whole of the doc and told him mum’s condition. He suggested mum to have her right foot rested on a pillow while sitting down, and if the swelling doesn’t go off by Thur, then we shall see him on Friday.

When I told hubby about mum being upset and sounded depressed, he said it may not have been caused by the swelling at all. He said it could be due to the post-surgery of the removal of her womb. Though the organ has not been useful for last 10 years, it’s still a major organ in our body, so the removal may have somehow caused her depression. YEAH…I thought it could be true…How can I never thought of that?

I guess we all, as daughters, just have to be more patience with mum and spend more time with her, talk to her. I hope that will make her feel better…

Please continue to pray for my mum, pray for healing, not just physically but also mentally and emotionally…