Few years ago when this girl joined the same company as me, I was assigned as her mentor at work in the same department. At a regional offsite planning session in Singapore after she joined for a month, she mentioned this remark during a small group break-up discussion time about motivation at work :
"To me, my mentor is like my motivation! She's like the most energetic person in the office but despite of her busyness, she's always there to help answer my questions..."
Wow! I was touched and I felt soooo good about it! At least she appreciates what i'm doing...
Very soon after that we became the closest friend ever in the office and many people who always bump into us together will say :"Wah, 2 of you always together wherever u go hor?" Haha...Yeah! And we talk almost about anything and everything...We roomed-mate each other at company offsite events and went clubbing together...She even volunteered to be chief "chi-mui" for my wedding ceremony! And ofcoz, we had lots of fun together at the "wild" hens nite....I thought too, that i've found my "best" friend in the company after my previous best friend left to join our competitor...
Guess what? On my wedding day, this "best friend" did not turn up on time and she was late for more than an hour! When she got to my house, the whole process of "zhip san leong" was done and we were all taking pictures already...Luckily i had a bunch of spontaneous chi-muis and so the whole thing went alright despite of the hiccup that the chief was not there. Was I mad at her? At that very moment, YES! But it was my wedding day, so i let it go & wanna enjoy the rest of the long day with fun & joy....When i returned to office after my 2 weeks honeymoon break, I decided to put this whole unhappy incident behind my back, and so my "best friend" and I were just back to normal - talk & laugh together, lunch together etc....
Until one fine day few months ago, when few of us colleagues were talking, these people started talking bad about my "best friend" and naturally i defended her! Then this guy who's also my close friend, started shouting at me saying :
"Hey! Stop defending her lar! She has never treated u as her best friend ok? She has been bad-mouthing about u all these while! We all just didn't want to tell u coz we know u'll get hurt badly! But i really cant help it now...seeing u still so silly, thinking that she's ur "best friend"!"
U know what? I really really felt like i've been thrown down from some 20th floor and feel like
killing myself!!! It hurts soooo badly & I cried...Someone whom i've helped so much in her career & work said that I'll always bully new colleagues, and lots of other negative things....I cried BADLY!Then subsequently, many close friends came telling me about things that this "best friend" has said to them, asking me not to be too sad, just let it go...I thought about it for many days & this really bothered me...I could have confronted her, but i did not do so. Finally I decided to just stop initiating conversation with her, but will still respond if she talks to me....
I believe what goes around comes around....I've met many many more close friends in the company and we always have fun & laughters together. What happened to her? She's now left all alone with limited friends to even go out lunching with...how sad...
10 comments:
maybe she was late on purpose eh?
i guess it's never easy to trust someone. and when you truly trust someone, be ready to get hurt...
oh, perhaps you can set your comments to appear as a pop up window.
go to dashboard-setting-comments to do it.
well...i've learnt this the hard way! now no matter how close is the friend, i dont set expectation so high so i wont get hurt so badly...
oh thx, will change the comments option. Am still new in this blogsphere! hahaha!
I know exactly how you feel. Over 5 years ago I had this best friend. She picked me up when I was down from a broken relationship. She always invited me over, I was at her house pretty much everyday for 2 years. We even took a trip to Tokyo together. It was actually during that trip that things were getting different between us. We just didn't share the same interests that we used to. I realize now that I was actually growing out of her because she was obsessed with cartoons and things and wasn't growing up, and she's older than me. She's still obsessed with animation and plays with dolls at age 30 today. I know this from a friend who is also friends with her. We had a friendly falling out, we just stopped talking. I hadn't talked to the friend who was also friends with her for a few years either, and when we did start talking again, I found out that this crazy woman was talking trash behind my back and ruining my reputation. After over 5 years she was still doing it! From what I heard, she trashed me everyday! She also turned 2 of my friends against me, one who was a really good friend of mine too. But since he lives in Japan, he doesn't really know what was happening. He came here recently and told me about it, and I was shocked to find out all the lies and garbage she was saying about me. We haven't even seen each other for these last 5 years, and I never talked about her! It really hurts when someone whom you trusted suddenly betrays you and trash talks you. It's like being stabbed in the back. I was also thinking of confronting her, but decided not to as well. Then she would know how much she hurt me, and she would be happy about it. The best thing to do is not give them the pleasure. You mentioned your ex-friend doesn't have many friends anymore. Well, I never see my ex-friend, but I know she just sits at home playing with dolls. She doesn't work or go to school, or study at home. So you're right, what goes around comes around. The best thing to do is ignore these betraying losers and watch them dig their own graves.
though set as anonymous, i know who u are...and i really pity your experience, just like my own!
But see...life goes on and at the end of it, we will know who are the losers, right? so dont get too upset about it since it's long ago...
Looking forward to more comments from you on my blog!
Yes, the experience with this person (I will refer to her as "crazy woman") was long ago, but the damage she has done I just found out a few weeks ago. See, my Japanese friend came here for a few weeks, and I had invited him to my birthday. Before he came, I got this strange e-mail from him. It was sent to this crazy woman's husband who is my Japanese friend's best friend. My Japanese friend had sent it to me by mistake. I saw that the whole e-mail was about me, and he had written so many hurtful things. He called me stupid over and over, then he said he would "break" my birthday party, and he said he would try and make me mad so that he could cancel going to my party and visit these people instead. My birthday is suppose to be my special day, so you can imagine how I felt. I actually still invited him to my birthday pretending I didn't get that e-mail, and he didn't even know he had accidentally sent it to me. I had printed it out, then confronted him with it at my birthday. That's when he explained to me that the crazy woman and her husband had told him not to be friends with me, and he only said those things about me so he could keep them happy. The crazy woman was the main one who had turned him against me, her husband just follows her orders. She is very abusive toward him, and her son (her husband isn't the father). But anyway, my Japanese friend was very sorry, so even though I was angry, I didn't want to be mean to him. However, I am having a hard time forgiving him because he said those things, even if he did it to hide our friendship from those stupid people. It was like he was my friend to my face and my enemy behind my back. I still feel hurt, but you're right, life goes on. I heard that the best revenge is to live well. When your enemies see how well you're doing, they won't have anything else to say.
oh wow! that's a sad one...but u said exactly the right thing at the end - the best revenge is to live well so that your enemies will envy and feel unhappy themselves!
Take it easy...friends are everywhere, so start making new friends!
I think I will keep this Japanese friend of mine even though he was wrong. He was under the influence of crazy, which is almost like alcohol! I can't blame him for everything. And I also hope to make new friends when I go to teach overseas too. :)
anonymous - very good to here that! Keep positive, ok?
Everyone would have experience that some time in your life. Me being a kind soul believed that it would not happen a second time...
but it happened again. But I believe in giving everyone a chance. So i am will to get hurt again.
dio brando - well i was really too disappointed and i dont really think i wanna get any closer to this person anymore lor...i guess the "chance" that i've given to our relationship was when i decided not to confront her...
Post a Comment