Mixed feeling...

After a long holiday, I felt so refreshed when i touched down yesterday morning...still tired and couldnt get over the jetlag, I'm just sooooo sleepy! Infact I had so much to write about the Europe trip and I was all excited to start writing yesterday but I was just too tired, so I dozzed off after spending some time playing with my son, whom I missed soooooo much!

So I thought I'll spend some time blogging today despite of the busy work schedule...BUT my brain just cant seemed to be working at all after the phone conversation with sis few minutes ago...

Two weeks ago before I left for the trip, mum started having gastric problem...So she went to the clinic and got some medication and I thought that will do. Last night when I saw her at dinner, she looked pale and she lost weight, and she told me she's still having minor gastric though she's on the medication for 2 weeks....so last week she actually went to the same clinic for blood test and the doctor told her, she should consult a specialist cause the report showed some strange-ness...

There she was today...at SJMC, my sister brought her to the specialist doctor....And the doctor actually said :"Maam, I'm affraid the blood test report shows that there are cancerous cells in your blood, therefore we need to do a more thorough check. Can u please come back tomorrow morning and fast from 5pm today?" Sis wanted to ask more questions but she was affraid that will worry mum even more, so she decided to keep quite.

I was stunned when I heard it...I always have the 'this-will-not-happen-to-me' mentality, so when I heard about it over the phone, my heart was over-burdened...And after i put down the phone with sis, I realised tears are just running down my cheeks, uncontrolable...

I'll be fetching mum to the hospital tomorrow morning for the thorough check and I pray hard that God will lay His hand on her and pray hard that it's just a false alarm. I really cant imagine having to see mum going through the pain which associates with cancer...I think my heart will break! She is already a asthma patient, can she take that?

Oh no...Please God, dont let this happen to mum...please...