Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Part 2 to 'Friend who hurts' - What goes around comes around

I would suggest you to first read Part 1 - 'Friend who hurts' before u start reading this post coz this is the Part 2 of the story...

Few weeks ago during the fasting month, I was invited to a Buka Puasa dinner with few more others colleagues. At first I was considering whether to go or not to go because I found out that this person "L" was also invited. ("L" is the "best friend" I wrote about in 'Friend who hurts' sometime in Aug). But finally I went...and I'm glad that I decided to be there coz eventually I heard lots of gossip about "L"!

When L and myself were very close last time, she was also quite close to this person "J" and both of them used to gossip about me behind my back...Now that I'm no longer close to L, naturally J became L's best friend...They are now well known as "bestest friend" in the company like how people used to associate me & L.

At the Buka Puasa dinner, since both L & J were not there, there were so much about them! There was this new hire N who just joined J's team where J is the teamlead. She got so feddup with J because she got bullied BIG TIME by her. So she was telling all of us about how J has treated her in her first few weeks. Then eventually N also told us, that J said to her that L knows nothing and was all the time depending on other people to get her stuff done...blah blah...

WOW! When I heard this...all in my mind was - WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND! Few of us just smiled to each other coz deep down our hearts, we know this is soooo shameful for L! Her "bestest friend" in the company is talking bad about her behind her back, just like how she did to me!

Sometimes I dont quite understand why do they treat their so-called "best friend" this way...Is this their nature? Is this their habit? Is this their attitude towards friends? I dont know...For me, this is definitely not something I'll do to my friends.

10 comments:

Dio Brando said...

So True... well do onto others as how u would do upon urself

sharlydia said...

dio - but i just cant figure out why some pple are doing this to their good friends...

Dio Brando said...

I believe some ppl dun believe in best friends or making friend out of oddice colleagues but just someone to step on to move ahead in the working world.

Sakura6267 said...

Your situation sounds so much like mine and my ex friend, Charlotte. You could not find a more evil woman. To this day she's trying to turn everyone against me, and trashes me behind my back, and I haven't even seen her at all for almost 6 years! It's human nature to gossip and talk trash about people behind their backs, but we need to put an effort into controlling ourselves. Only the very weak and pathetic would constantly trash someone when the other person has moved on, especially if you used to be friends with this person. Jealousy is a big part of it. These people are losers and not worth our time, so I would say dismiss and ignore this "L" person like I do to Charlotte because really, these stupid people are not worth even half a second of our time! Am I right, or am I right?

Alvin Lim said...

it's funny how some people complain too much about others. i mst admit, i do complain about certain people as well......esp if that is a complete scumbag.

but it hurts most, when someone you thought is your good friend, went behind your back and complained about you (your behavior, personality, etc) to another person......but didn't realize that person is your good friend also.

end up? your relationship with this SOMEONE was ruined...once this 2nd good friend of yours told you about it.

some people are really idiots...so don't bother about them. but if you are not happy with someone who is a good friend to you, please please please....approach the person and speak out.

don speak out behind other people's back.

sharlydia said...

dio - ya maybe...

sakura - u'r right! that's y i've actually stopped talking to L for many months, unless she initiate a conversation then ofcoz i wont ignore her...

sharlydia said...

alvin - exactly! I dont think i'll be mad at L if she came straight to me to speak out, but she didnt. Instead, she just went on & on bad-mouthing about me...Anyway i've gave up on this relationship so i dont really bother anymore now, whether she talks about me or not.

Sakura6267 said...

Another incident actually happened to me just now, it was with my male friend's girlfriend who I was getting along really well with. She seemed comfortable with my friend having female friends and didn't seem threatened by me. Out of the blue she turned against me and started hating me and trashing me to my friend behind my back and they got in a fight because of me. You can imagine how bad I felt. :( I didn't want to cause any fights, but I wasn't doing anything wrong! This friend and I have been friends for about 6 years, longer than he has known this gf, and he and I have never dated, and we never acted like we were flirting or anything. And this girlfriend acted like she had no problem with us being friends, especially I thought her and I were friends too. Suddenly she hates me, and I can't understand why other than jealousy and insecurity. It's really hard to be friends with the opposite gender who has a girl/boyfriend. But my friend said he wasn't going to let her pick his friends and won't ditch me because of this. I hope he stays true to his promise. It wouldn't be fair for this girlfriend to break up the friendship between him and I when neither of us has done anything to make her feel threatened. I just can't believe how stupid jealousy makes people. My last boyfriend had female friends, and I never felt threatened. I guess it all has to do with how much you trust your bf or gf, and if you don't, then it's not going to work out. This might sound mean, but I hope they do break up for the sake of my friend because I can see now that she's no good for him and just wants to control him. She's going to hurt him bad, but I can't do anything to interfere, he has to realize it for himself.

SpikeySpikey said...

Sharlydia, sounds really terrible to have trusted someone and have them betray you. I have gone through similar situation. I always find it hard to trust people and when I do and they betray me it's very painful. But its ok, looks like your friend got back what she did to you. I am sure you will find better friends in your workplace or wherever.

sharlydia said...

sakura - I pity your situation. But u'r right, it's not good for you to interfere, just let ur friend find out in no time and see if he still wants to stay in relationship with the gal.

spikey - I already found! That's y i pity L, having limited friends in the workplace, yet been bad-mouthed by them!