Monday, March 03, 2008

Work friends

I was attending a friend J's wedding dinner last night together with my hubby. This is one of my best friends at work. I dont usually call these friends "colleagues" coz to me, our relationship has gone beyond just "colleagues". I categorize "colleagues" as merely work-related people whom we dont really talk beyond work-related stuff; while work friends are good friends that I made along my working life, whom we dont really talk about work-related stuff, but whole lot more other things around us.

I knew J since I joined this company, but have never been in the same team ever. Somehow we have to visit this university for meetings when we were both new to the company and so we started chatting along the journey each time we go together. Then we got along very well and became close friends. We have another common close friend too, called P, who was already pretty close to J when P joined my team and became close to me. So three of us will always go out lunching together, sometimes all the way driving from Tmn Tun to KL down town or Mid Valley when all 3 of us have some time to spare for longer lunch. We also went treasure hunting together...

Unfortunately P decided to leave the company about 3+ years ago coz he got a much better offer from our competitor. It was painful for me to have to lose a good friend at work. I used to sing "Here without u" when I think of him. But though he has left the company, we still meet up very often at Coffee Beans after work, or meet up for lunch when he's around the area, and mostly without J.

Time flies....In the last 3 years, there has been so much changes to our lives! I've got married in 2006, then P got married beginning of the following year. Our meet-ups then reduced A LOT after we both got married. Then I've got a baby and ofcoz alot more busier, and he has been promoted & got busier too I guess. We hardly meet up anymore...We'll call each other once in a blue moon, but usually just have a short conversation.

Last night P & wife, me & hubby together with other friends were put on the same table for the dinner. Sad to say...P & I hardly spoke to each other...We seemed sooooo like "strangers" to each other. I hate the feeling, and I was sad, though I looked happy on the face mingling with other friends. Sigh...

I guess this is what happens to work friends when u dont put the effort to keep in touch. No matter how close u were, when u left the company & put into new environment, u'll make new friends. Same goes to the one who stayed, no matter how painful was the lost, u'll get adjusted soon & then make new friends! That's why people say "Work friends come & go, dont take it too hard"...

7 comments:

cbenc12 said...

I understand how u feel on this too! hahahahaa... coz it happens to me many times last year as i was from a big company but coz the company has major changes, many of my close-fren-colleagues left... i feel so sad when they left.. we used to have a lot to talk about during office time when we meet everyday.. but when they left, gradually we dun have anymore common topic to talk about..hai.. but only a few i am really trying to maintain our friendship.. :) i think a lot of ppl face this in their working/personal life too.. ppl come n go.. happen wif study besties too..all need effort to maintain..

Natasha said...

it's not just work friends, it applies to school friends or uni friends. In any relationship, if both parties do not put the effort, the friendship drifts apart.

Dio Brando said...

To keep a relation going is all about "clicking". Even if u have not meet in a long time it should not affect the friendship.
The other reason could be that because the both of u are already married and it would not be nice for the other half to see u talking away with another person...
norally at this kind of gathering you would need to accompany ur other half

sharlydia said...

cbenc12 - ya...i'm sure i'm not the only one having this problem, just that some pple may know how to let go easily and get over it faster i guess...

natasha - so true...infact i realised that i've hardly been in touch with my good friends from school or uni these days...especially when u have work & family to juggle!

dio - well i quite agree with u on the "clicking" part too, coz i have a best friend who migrated to US now and even b4 this, she was studying in SG & got married there. We only get to meet when i go to SG but we do make an effort to meet up no matter what. And we do STILL have lots of talk about somehow...But i guess this doesnt happen to every friends...

u may be true as well on the 2nd point, coz his wife was there so he may not wanna ignore her, and so happened my hubby was sitting between him & myself, so it may not be nice for us to keep talking too...This could be very well an accepted excuse lar...haha!

zewt said...

aiyooo... adult already lor...still play i don talk to u game meh?

SpikeySpikey said...

U know Sharlydia, sometimes in life ppl move on and it's normal and part and parcel of life. Sad though, but you move on too and find other friends. That's just the way of life, someone whom I am very close with in school might have different interest than me now and we don't really hang out together anymore. So look on the lighter side, you will keep meeting new ppl and ppl that you can click and be close with :)

sharlydia said...

zewt - well it's not really dont-tok-to-u game...we spoke, but very very briefly, it's like a newly met friend whom u may not have much in common to speak about, WHICH IS NOT TRUE! and that's y i'm sad mar...

spikey - well i totally understand that this is part & parcel of life, but sometimes when it comes to hitting u directly, the emotions will still be there i guess...But like u said, i'm glad tat i've moved on too, meeting loads of new friends!