Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Will you keep the baby or not?

Over lunch yesterday, this conversation came up, about one of our colleague's cousin having a Down syndrome baby...It's always sad to me, to hear this type of thing coz somehow, I pity the poor lil baby, and also pity the parents...

Commonly known, Down syndrome is a genetic disorder, associated with the presence of an extra chromosome 21, characterized by mild to severe mental retardation. Affected babies have weak muscle tone, a low nasal bridge, and epicanthic folds at the eyelids.

Since one of the friends who was lunching with us, P is planning for baby next year, we also spoke about pre-pregnancy test, prenatal test etc. For Down syndrome in particular, there's normal screening test (usually done over a blood test of the pregnant mother) to try to identify those pregnancies at "high risk". These pregnancies are then candidates for further diagnostic testing - Amniocentesis.

Amniocentesis is usually carried out between the 14th and 18th week of pregnancy, which is around 4th month. This procedure is used to collect amniotic fluid, the liquid that is in the womb. It's performed in the doctor's office or in the hospital on an "out-patient" basis. A needle is inserted through the mother's abdominal wall into the uterus, using ultrasound to guide the needle. Approximately one ounce of fluid is taken for testing. This fluid contains fetal cells that can be examined for chromosome tests. It takes about 2 weeks to determine if the fetus has Down syndrome or not.

As we were talking, I have this question in my mind which I put it forth to get some feedback. What happens if the Amniocentesis result came out to be positive where your baby is highly possibly having Down syndrome? Are you gonna keep the baby or not?

This is a tough question. P said he will rather not think about this until he really needs to make such decision. Most of us kept quiet...I agreed with P. What do you think? Will you keep the baby or not?

25 comments:

Julia said...

Yes I certainly would!!! That's the seasoned, wiser me talking. I have a son with DS. No prenatal tests. I can tell you, even though I pitied myself and him at first, you don't need to EVER pity anyone with DS or their parents. I have yet to meet anyone who isn't absolutely overcome with love for their child and have yet to meet a person with DS that is in need of pity. It really is NO BIG DEAL!!! But, I think you have to live it to understand it - that's how it's been for me. Surprisingly, if I could change it (that extra chromosone) I wouldn't (now ponder that one for awhile).

Just sign me...A mom that did NOT want to be blessed ('cause everyone says they are a blessing - so cheerful) this way that now sees it as one of her biggest blessings in life!!!

Dio Brando said...

I would think dat for the sake of both the parents and the child not to keep him... I know that taking a life is not suppose to be something a christian should do...
If you look further down the road, who will take care of him once you are gone. It would be a problem for the child once he grows up... we cannot predict the future on how normal ppl preceive DS.

Julia said...

We all better stop having children...Who knows what could happen??? Have a "perfect" child who suffers injury or illness and is no longer perfect - what will we do?!? Have a "perfect" child and die yourself - what will they do?!?
Since we can't see the future and we aren't mortal it really is a lost cause to procreate. It just wouldn't be fair.
Off to bed with me to fear all things out of my control. How about dat!?!

mumsgather said...

Thats why I opted for no testing even though it was naturally recommended to me because I had my babies at age 36 and 38. Theres also a very slim chance of miscarriage when doing the test so what if you had a perfectly healthy baby and you miscarry due to the test? What about that?

Daniel said...

i hope i can answer you..bcos it's really a hard decision to make. Hope my wife's testing shows that my baby is okay

Qadoshyah said...

Of course we would keep the baby! Abortion is never right.

I have a brother with Down syndrome. My mother didn't have any prenatal tests, but even if we did have prenatal testing done, it wouldn't have made a difference in whether we'd keep him or not.

My brother is a person! He's a blessing! We wouldn't change a thing about him!! It's too bad that so many people choose to end the lives of these special people before they even have a chance to show how wonderful they really are and how loving they are.

~ Q. Fish
My brother has Down syndrome. He wasn't terminated. He's loved.

Natasha said...

Amniocentesis test turning out positive is no guarantee that your child will have DS. It's just a test that shows the likelihood.Many have tested positive and turned out kid with no DS. So I would go ahead with the pregnancy, and if kid has DS,God will provide and give the strenght to carry on!

sharlydia said...

julia - I'm a mother myself and i'm sure all mothers love their child no matter he/she is perfect or not...Admire your strength, keep it up! BTW just wanted to appologize if i've written anything in the post which offended u...

dio - it may be easier said than done dude!

mumsgather - ya i'm aware of the risk, that's y i opted not to do the test as well...

daniel - it will surely be alright!

Qadoshyah - thx for dropping by...I'm sure ur family has enjoyed your brother's company too!

natasha - Praise the Lord & I do agree with u! This is God's blessing and He will surely be our provider...

Sakura6267 said...

When it comes to abortion, no way. Especially that 4 months is way too late to have an abortion, and any stage of life, it's just wrong. I learned in biology that the baby's heart is already beating at 2 weeks.

As for adoption, though, that's something I would consider because I may not be able to handle a child with DS. I would want her to have the best care possible, and make sure she is with a loving family who will be willing to take care of her all her life.

Just to note: people with DS are usually the happiest people in the world. They have no worries, no cares. They're constantly in a state of childhood bliss. It's something to be admired, not condemned.

sharlydia said...

sakura - ya i agree with u that DS kids are always the happiest...

Anonymous said...

Abortion is just plain wrong and eugenics is twice as wrong!

Stereotyping is also wrong. People with DS are NOT always happy and they certainly are NOT in a constant state of childhood bliss... I can't even believe someone would write such an ignorant thing.

My young child with DS is the same as everyone else in the world, has worries and gets upsets with many things including ignorant people who treat him as though he is mindless. He has exactly the same emotions, needs, desires and concerns as all of you.

Pity is such a condescending thing. Who on wants your pity?! What makes you think you are so much better then those you presume to pity?? We pity you. You are so foolish and ignorant in your mindless bliss, yet you have the nerve to assume that you are actually more intelligent.

Sakura6267 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Crunch2 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sakura6267 said...

You know what, anonymous? No, you can't talk to people that way. I know you think you can because you're on the internet and hiding like an internet troll behind anonymous, but you simply can't go around insulting people for having an opinion. You have some nerve coming on here and expecting us to let you insult us just because you have a DS child and expect special treatment. Well, you said yourself you don't want your child to have special treatment, so you're not going to get any either, and that means we will not just sit back and let you run your mouth off.

I admit I was wrong to say that people with DS are constantly in a childhood bliss, but it is a fact that most, if not all DS adults do not reach the same maturity as a non DS adult. It's just the disease, and not the person's fault at all. This may sound insensitive, but it's the truth. Don't deny the facts because every DS mother I've spoken to will admit that it is much more difficult bringing up a child with DS, and although the child has the same feelings as everyone else, they need special attention because of this disease. Not one person here said they are more intelligent than someone with DS. Now you're just making things up, or perhaps someone had said that to you and you're using us as your punching bag to let out your frustration. That's just wrong and ignorant. If you have a problem, get some help for it, don't come here and b*tch about it.

You hear it over and over, DS people are the happiest and most loving people in the world. They certainly seem that way. What's wrong with that? And if you don't like this stereotype, blame the ones who made it up.

Basically you are everything you accused us of being. Ignorant, mindless, foolish. You come here and just start attacking people for their opinions. Maybe this is a sensitive subject for you, but you don't see other DS mothers going on the defence and acting all immature about it. They prefer to debate it in an intelligent, adult manner. Grow up and keep your childish insults to yourself.

zewt said...

ok guys and girls... i think we should all calm down. while it is good to have forum-like discussion, but it shouldnt touch on very sensitive issues, particularly one which touches family.

sharlydia said...

anonymous & sakura - I agreed with zewt...Thanx for the support on leaving comments on my blog & thx for those truthful opinion, but let's not get too "emotional" about them.

maybe it was my fault for starting such sensitive topic on DS child, but i really didnt expect it to have created so much arguments, so sorry about this. I guess sometimes it's just differences in our opinions, let's not get too personal...

Sakura6267 said...

I'm sorry for getting too emotional as well. I wrote that when I was still angry, and I should have waited until I had calmed down to post. It's also because it seems to always happen that people insult other people just for having a different opinion. You have a right to post whatever you want, it's your blog, and if they don't like what you said, they can go somewhere else.

I think that the anonymous person is probably only a troll who wants to get a reaction by insulting people. They may not even have a DS child, and just wanted to be stupid here. It's best to ignore comments from trolls instead of feeding the flames, so will be more careful from now on.

cbenc12 said...

I just read a novel about a doctor whose wife delivered twin babies, the boy is perfect but the baby girl has Down Syndrome. He gave her away.. but in his lifetime, it brought a great impact on the absent of de baby girl on him and de wife..
A real tough decision to be made..

Sakura6267 said...

I saw a movie, I believe made by Disney, about a twin girl and boy, except the boy is the one with DS, and the parents kept him. Everyone makes fun of him and the girl too because they don't understand. So she makes a video about her brother, and she won this contest so the video was aired on TV. It showed how sometimes life was very hard living with a DS sibling, but she also showed how much fun she has with him, and how the fun is worth so much more than the bad times. After that, people understood and didn't make fun of them anymore. All it really takes is understanding.

sharlydia said...

cbenc12 - OH that's such a painful decision...I'm sure in real life (if the novel is not from true story), the twin brother will miss the sister too!

sakura - that must be a wonderful movie...anyway I always hate those parents who din teach or guide their children enough that they laugh or make fun of DS or disabled child...

zewt said...

good to know things have calmed down.

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